Rec.Org.SCA lament
by Marc Carlson
Copyright 16 Oct 2002 by Marc Carlson


(To the tune of the Unfortunate Rake)

As I walked out down by the Rialto,
Down by the old bridge, one morning to play.
I saw a Rialtan all dressed in singed cotton,
Singed cotton broadcloth, still smoking away...

"I see by your webbing that you're a Rialtan,"
He told me these words, though I tried to scoot by.
"Come sit down be side me and hear my sad story,
For they've flamed off my ass, and I'm now bound to die."

So politely I asked him, "Good god man, what ails you"
Gently I asked him what he was whining about.
It's all because of a pointless lame flamewar -
Usenet masturbation that got out of hand.

Tap your keys slowly and play the WAV lowly
As you hear the Dead March while deleting my posts
And fire your Reply keys across my coffin
for I'm a poor poster and know I must roast.

It was once at the keyboard, I used to go dashing
Once at the keyboard, I had plenty to say.
Some folks, I ignored them, and in turn I bored them.
I saw points and scored them, as sure as I may.

~ Chorus ~

Had I but listened when they told me to chill out,
Had I but listened when they called me a jerk.
I might have been calmer, and not got insulting,
But now I'm cut down in the height of my prime.

~ Chorus ~

Bring Sappy along to bear up my coffin,
Get six research Laurels to shift the dead wood.
Send a grumpy old Pelican to light up the pyre.
Igniting the dead woods as they pass on by.

~ Chorus ~

And on his headstone, these words they were written,
"Now all you young newbies take warning from me,
Beware of the flamewars that go through the newsgroups,
For the newsgroup's flamewars were the ruin of me.

~ Chorus ~